Showing posts with label Arts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arts. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Can We Get an Amen, Sister Myotis?

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Here is another interview that I did a few months back, just before the last Memphis run of my hit show, "Sister Myotis's Church Retreat".  This is from a woman named Susan Ellis, who keeps a blog for the Memphis Flyer called "Hungry Memphis".  She asked me a bunch of questions about recipes, and liquor, and the Lord, and such, so I thought it might bring you folks a little encouragement as you struggle to rise above the plague of mediocrity, that is so rampant amongst most people who aren't me.  Please note that although she does mention dates to my hit show, ignore them because my show had done passed.  If you missed it, then I can only hope that you'll find someone else (doubtful) that might set you on a path to Glory!  If you saw it, then I know you were blessed by it!

Again, let me emphatisize that if you show up wanting to see my hit show on the dates listed in this article, you will be disappointed, because I won't be there.  You can start reading now...

Can We Get an Amen, Sister Myotis? 
Posted by Susan Ellis on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 8:17 AM

Memphis' thumpiest bible-thumper Sister Myotis is leading her Church Retreat starting Saturday at TheatreSouth. She interrupted her packing to talk to Hungry Memphis.

Hungry Memphis:  You've expressed a fondness for casseroles. What's your favorite?

Sister Myotis:  It's hard to pick a favorite, but if I have to, it's a layered breakfast casserole that Paula Deen taught me how to make: Butter both sides of some Wonder Bread and spread them in the bottom of a dish, cover with a layer of deli-style ham, then some sliced bananas, and another layer of buttered bread. Top with cheddar cheese, chopped bacon, and crumbled up Ruffles. Mix together 2 cups of heavy cream and 4 eggs to pour over the top, then bake it off, and you've got a healthy breakfast with all four food groups!

Hungry Memphis:  We hear church suppers can get competitive. How does the Good Sister stack up?

Sister Myotis:  As always, there are those who try to compete for best covered dish, but we all know that there could be no competition without someone to judge them ... that is really where I "stack up." Some "feel good" churches try to encourage the notion that there are never any losers in life ... but at my church, we want to tell the truth and let people know there are always losers ... and more than likely, they are one. I've even heard some preachers tell a congregation that people are "gifted in different ways," and that they must learn to use their gifts. The truth of the matter is that some people are just not gifted at all. I have come to realize that my God-given gift is the gift of casting judgement.

Hungry Memphis:  Do you have a standard prayer before a meal -- God is good, God is great, etc.? Or do you mix it up?

Sister Myotis:  Well normally, if we are eating at a potluck, the preacher does the prayer for everybody at one time. On a day-to-day basis, for the sake of efficiency, I prefer to pray over all of our groceries when I bring them home from the store. That way, when I cook, I know that everything is "pre-blessed," and I don't have to take time to pray that I could be using for something else. It's a time-saver!

Hungry Memphis:  Gluttony is one of the deadly sins, Sister. What do you have to say for yourself?

Sister Myotis:  It's glandular.

Hungry Memphis:  You'll be bringing back your Church Retreat during the Cooper-Young Festival. It's hosted by Buster's Liquor & Wine. Doesn't drinking go against your religion?

Sister Myotis:  Well, most things go against my religion. But if I followed every little old rule found in the Bible, I'd never again get to eat at Red Lobster, would I? And I just can't imagine that the good Lord doesn't enjoy popcorn shrimp as much as the rest of us. Luckily, the Lord gave us preachers to tell us which of those little Bible rules to follow, and which ones we can ignore! Besides, if Christians were never allowed to be around alcohol, how could we possibly witness to Episcopals?

Sister Myotis's Church Retreat, TheatreSouth (First Congregational Church basement, 1000 S. Cooper) Saturday, September 19th, Friday-Saturday, September 25th-26th, and Friday-Saturday, October 2nd-3rd. Shows are at 8 p.m., and tickets are $20. For tickets, go to http://www.voicesofthesouth.org/ or call 726-0800.
__________________________________________

I typed out a line so that you would know that the interview is over and I am talking to you again.

Because I am commanded to...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Sister Myotis in New York City!
June 11th-July 4th at Abingdon Theatre!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Gettin' ready for Camp!

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Join us for Sister Myotis's Bible Camp at Abingdon Theatre in New York City this summer!  We'll be playing there from June 11-July 4, 2010, and you can go ahead an by tickets right now at http://www.abingdontheatre.org/. Y'all come and get your blessing!  Sister Ima & Sister Velma will be joining me, and we are promising a big time of Christian fellowship.  Watch this video of me talkin'...



Because I am commanded to...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube


Sister Myotis in New York City!
June 11th-July 4th at Abingdon Theatre!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hostess with the Mostest!

Dear fellow Christians & others,

I just run across this interview on Brother Chris Davis's blog, Intermission Impossible.  I talked to him back when I was about to preach at the Ostrander Rewards in August.  I know it's out of date, but I still have some important things to say that will be impertinant to your attempt at living a Christian life.  Just be sure to ignore the dates, and don't show up to the Ostrander Rewards on August 30th expecting to hear me preach, because it probably won't be the same date this year!  Anyway, here it is...I know it will be a blessing to you:

Hostess with the Mostest: Three Questions with Ostrander Awards host Sister Myotis
Posted by Chris Davis on Tue, Aug 25, 2009 at 2:13 PM

The Ostrander awards are a notoriously pagan affair that brings the entire Memphis theater community together for the purposes of drinking strong beverages and fornication. This Sunday's ceremony may be a bit less wicked than usual though thanks to the presence of the event's host Sister Myotis, who is gearing up for her Off Broadway debut next summer.

We asked Sister how she came to be associated with such a secular affair. Here's what she had to say.

Intermission Impossible: Did you notice that Jesus was nominated for his work on that play Altar Boyz? That was a nice touch, I thought.

Sister Myotis: I was not aware of this. However, I certainly support His nomination. I’m sure that there other true Christians, like myself, who went to see this show not knowing that it was about Catholics. While I applaud the nomination, I’m sure they’ll find some way to give Mary all the credit.

Intermission Impossible: If you could present an award for Godliest show for 2008-09 what would it be?

Sister Myotis:  I would choose Sweeney Todd at Theatre Memphis. In this show, a barber and his neighbor lady take to cutting the throats of evildoers and cooking them up into meat pies. As a true Christian, I am always in full support of ridding the world of evildoers by smoking them out of their holes and sending them on to meet their Maker-even if cannibalism is required! My only suggestion to the writer of this musical is that, as a true Christian, I would have also enjoyed seeing them waterboarded.

Intermission Impossible:  Now you know that theater people are all sinners. How can you stomach being around them so often?

Sister Myotis:  It is true that when you associate with theater folks, you never know the kind of people that you’ll be dealing with. I have read them Jackie Collins books about showbiz types that will lay with anybody that’ll give them a starring role. As directress of my church’s annual Living Christmas Tree, I have no doubt that at some point during the evening I will be propositioned by someone looking to trade their body in exchange for a featured role. Needless to say, I will carry my stun gun in my purse, and have plenty of pamphlets on hand that deal with the conversion of whores.

The Ostranders is an annual awards ceremony honoring excellence in the Memphis theatre community. This will be the 26th year of the awards and the Master of Ceremonies will be Memphis favorite Sister Myotis.

This year's awards ceremony will take place on Sunday, August 30th, from 6-11pm in Hardin Hall at the Memphis Botanic Garden. There will be cocktails and hors d'oeuvres from 6-7, awards ceremony at 7, followed by an after party with DJ's, dancing, and the announcing of the People's Choice Awards.

Join us on August 30th as we celebrate the work of the talented Memphis theatre community!

_______________________________

I drew a line so you would know where I start talking again.

Because I am commanded to...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Sister Myotis in New York City!
June 11th-July 4th at Abingdon Theatre

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Hostessing the Ostrander Rewards

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Velma just called to tell me that back when I hostessed up the Ostrander Theatre Rewards in Memphis back in August, somebody must have had a camera...cause they have posted some of the sermon that I preached to that Godless, drunken, heathen theatre crowd on the interweb! I hope you get a blessing from it.



Because I am commanded to...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Sister Myotis in New York City!
June 11th-July 4th at Abingdon Theatre!

Monday, January 18, 2010

The J & K Self-Rising Cabaret!

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Go see my friends Jenny & Kim in the "J & K Self-Rising Cabaret", running Fridays & Saturdays from January 22-30! They'll give you a fun time with good singing & hot biscuits!



Because I am commanded to do so...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Closing Weekend!

Greetings fellow Christians & others!

Do you have your tickets yet? Hope to see you there!



Merry Christmas to all!!!

As I am commanded...love & blessings, SM

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Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Friday, December 11, 2009

Opening Night!

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Tonight is opening night...come see us! Watch this video I made for you...



Only because I am commanded to...love, SM

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Monday, November 30, 2009

Pre-sent/Pres-ent 8!

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Y'all come see me in "Pre-sent/Pres-ent 8", December 11-20 at Theatreworks in Memphis, TN. I'll be there with some singers & dancers doin' a show about the Holiday times! We're gonna have a big time, so y'all buy your tickets now! Look at this video they made about the show!



By the way, this shindig is put on by the folks at Voices of the South & Project:Motion!

Only because I am commanded to...love, SM

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The "Rockin' Hallelujah Happening"

Fellow Christians and others,

This comin' Friday night, May 29th, I'm gonna be preachin' to the good folks over at the Theatre Memphis in Memphis, Tennessee. They're tryin' to raise up a whole load of money, and they think that I'm the woman to help 'em do it. Apparently, think my very presence puts people in the giving spirit so they've asked me to come talk to the crowd about good stern Christian morals in theatre. Y'all come...we're gonna have a big time! Look at this video of me talkin' to hear more about how you can buy you a ticket.



Only because I am commanded to...love, SM

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

About Face Theatre Chicago

Dear fellow Christians & others,

Please watch this video I made in support of our friends at About Face Theatre in Chicago.  I hope you'll be blessed by it...



Because I am commanded to...

Love, Sister Myotis

Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube


Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Arts

Fellow Christians & others,

Tomorrow night I'm supposed go to the big Artafactor party to benefit ArtsMemphis.  They're supposed to have good eatin', and auction off some beautiful art (hopefully they'll have some Thomas Kincaid pictures on auction!).  Here I am talkin' about keeping good Christian morals in the arts...

  

Only because I am commanded to...love, SM

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Sister Myotis

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Gettin' gussied!

They made a movie of me starting to get ready for the big Artafactor party this week.  Watch me talk when you mash the button...



Only because I am commanded to...love, SM

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Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Artafactor

Fellow Christians & others,

This week, I have been roped into attending a big party for a bunch of "artsy" type people, to raise money for a group called ArtsMemphis. I have no idea what kinds of things these types of people gets up to at their "parties"...so please pray for me as I walk into this "Lion's Den" of heathens. 

I have no doubt they'll be beggin' for money (in my book, "artsy people" = "hobos"!). They begged me to talk about it because they reckon I can help draw 'em up a crowd of folks that they can try to squeeze a dollar out of...

Mash on the play button on the video below to see me talk to you...



Visit the ArtsMemphis website to look at some of the shenanigans they get up to!

Only because I am commanded to...love, SM



Email Sister Myotis

Visit Sister Myotis on
Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or Youtube